Crazy Horses
November 17, 2018
And Cricket themed hangman –
Vanda Plenty
February 14, 2016
The Eyes Have It or 2 from me, 1 from her and 1 from him
November 1, 2015
News from Norfolk: The Jewel of Lincolnshire
September 22, 2013
Dear Wally
What’s wrong with the youth today? I’ve had Shona round with her young lad Jason. The boy’s complaining as his new job is away at Thetford. I said he should count himself lucky he gets to travel. I told him we never crossed Sutton Bridge ‘til we were 28. Ah yes Wal, the first of a few memorable trips in the Dormobile to the jewel of Lincolnshire, Gainsborough. Which reminds me, Peter’s bringing his eldest to see me before he goes back to College Gainsborough way. Short one today, the elastic in my socks is cutting into my ankles and making me riled. My blackbird is looking through the window at me Wally so I’m off to throw something at him.
Keep well
Lenny
Let’s all go to Zena Skinner’s
September 3, 2013
News from Norfolk: The Vicar’s bike
September 1, 2013
Dear Lenny,
That Roger do get about don’t he? I remember seeing him coming along Swingy Lane one night as quick as if his arse were on fire. He took that last corner at nigh on twenty miles an hour and were over the handle bars and in the ditch before you could say Lawrence and Potts. He said he were in a rush to get the bike back in the vicarage wood shed before the vicar noticed it were gone. I don’t reckon you were quite right about them there Davids. By my reckoning there were 43 and a half. I expect you were forgetting that Norma’s girl were a David, but was always called Shelly and then there was Diddy Dave which accounts for the half.
I thought I saw Mucky Bob the other day at the car park but it wasn’t him at all it was one of them new bollards they put in to stop the boy racers from practising their three point turns. It didn’t half look like him though. I wonder if they used him as a model for it. You know like they used Auntie Mary as a model for the backend of buses back in the 20s. She had half price travel for that for nigh on eighteen years right up until that day she got stuck in the door of the once a month market day bus and swore she weren’t going on public transport no more.
Hope you back on your feet a bit more Len. I don’t like to think of you stuck in the house every day especially when there’s been a good frost and fog to get out into. Joan and me walked to the phone box and back yesterday. It were nice to get into the great outdoors and see them at number 13 trying to get their cat down off the flat roof again. We stood and laughed at them for a good 20 minutes and then went back home for a cup of tea and a slice of Battenberg. That’s the only foreign grub you’ll catch me eating and like Joan said he weren’t wholly foreign because he were a cousin of the Queen. He was the one who were friendly with Mr Pattern and told him about how he gave away India and that was what gave him the idea about giving away King Kong. You couldn’t expect the Queen to house an ape like that – not at her age.
Yours Wally
News from Norfolk: Slippers and Silver Top
August 25, 2013
Dear Lenny,
So much water has passed down the outside privy since we had a proper marddle so I were right pleased to get your letter. Tom – the post – Matthews shoved it through the letterbox along with my parish mag and another of them blooming letters about saving some leopard stuck up a tree in the rainforest. I’d have thought they’d have got the blighter down by now, but it seems not.
There’s some right funny business going on round here. Number 13 have only gone and changed their milk order! They’ve started on that queer stuff called semi-skinned. I know ‘cos Ted – the milk – Matthews told me about it. Time was when folk were happy enough to drink full fat and develop a healthy belly you could rest a cuppa on.
There’s been a bit of an upheaval here at number 11 too. Yes, that’s right, I had to go and get another pair of slippers. The old ones gave up the ghost last Tuesday week after just 15 years of daily wear. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a hundred times they just don’t make things to last no more. Joan said I should try some of them moccasins this time, but I put her straight. First it’s moccasins and the next it’s pizza or some other such rubbish for tea. What’s wrong with folks today is that they always want some foreign muck or other. Stick to our muck – that’s what I say. Who wants a meal that’s made out of some blooming tower that’s falling over? It’s food like that what gives people the dropsy, makes them all on the h and then where are you? It’s like that bloke Nippy who were with Lawrence and Potts. He ate a stick of spaghetti and were never right after that. You must have known him, he had a hat on and were always wearing them trousers.
Well Joan says the telly aerial needs a bit of a wiggle before the news so I’m off to the attic for a bit to see what I can do.
Yours Wally
Wanted: more hours in the day
January 7, 2013
Nostalgic? Harried? Bored? Probably all three. Please add to the list as I’m sure I’ve missed some important ones.
Feed a cow.
Visit the mobile library.
Fall asleep in the garden.
Watch an old film on a weekday afternoon.
Have a picnic of crisp sandwiches.
Spend an afternoon painting a rotten pear.