News from Norfolk: Slippers and Silver Top

August 25, 2013

2012-02-14 15.09.22

Dear Lenny,

So much water has passed down the outside privy since we had a proper marddle so I were right pleased to get your letter. Tom – the post – Matthews shoved it through the letterbox along with my parish mag and another of them blooming letters about saving some leopard stuck up a tree in the rainforest. I’d have thought they’d have got the blighter down by now, but it seems not.

There’s some right funny business going on round here. Number 13 have only gone and changed their milk order! They’ve started on that queer stuff called semi-skinned. I know ‘cos Ted – the milk – Matthews told me about it. Time was when folk were happy enough to drink full fat and develop a healthy belly you could rest a cuppa on.

There’s been a bit of an upheaval here at number 11 too. Yes, that’s right, I had to go and get another pair of slippers. The old ones gave up the ghost last Tuesday week after just 15 years of daily wear. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a hundred times they just don’t make things to last no more. Joan said I should try some of them moccasins this time, but I put her straight. First it’s moccasins and the next it’s pizza or some other such rubbish for tea. What’s wrong with folks today is that they always want some foreign muck or other. Stick to our muck – that’s what I say. Who wants a meal that’s made out of some blooming tower that’s falling over? It’s food like that what gives people the dropsy, makes them all on the h and then where are you? It’s like that bloke Nippy who were with Lawrence and Potts. He ate a stick of spaghetti and were never right after that. You must have known him, he had a hat on and were always wearing them trousers.

Well Joan says the telly aerial needs a bit of a wiggle before the news so I’m off to the attic for a bit to see what I can do.
Yours Wally

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2 Responses to “News from Norfolk: Slippers and Silver Top”

  1. Ha! These are so fun! I’ve never had a pair of slippers that lasted 15 years, not even moccasins! He was lucky, me thinks. Hope he got that TV reception! I remember my Dad, forever trying to perfect reception that way. He’d fix one channel and have to readjust it for another! Thanks for these chuckles.

  2. Slippers – the fall back present for the men over 50 in your life. I thought I was original branching out with my dad’s presents over the last few years. On finding a walking partner and going further afield outdoor shops became the Christmas present standby for him with the occasional Marks and Sparks jumper thrown in. Only on clearing the house when he died did my sister and I find out how unoriginal we had been. There were several flasks, walking bottles and thermal mugs, walking socks from every stockist, 3 or 4 compasses, countless anoraks and of course about 15 dark blue jumpers from Marks and Sparks – only one pair of slippers though. He also appeared to have given up ironing and just bought new shirts, there were hundreds of them!!

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