News from Norfolk: Swingball

November 3, 2013

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Dear Wally

Hasn’t it been miserable with all this unseasonal good weather? The trouble with this country is it’s either too bloody hot or too bloody cold. First bit of sun of the year and the whole country goes mad. First thing this morning I’m met with the sight of the postman and milkman in short trousers mincing up the path. I told them, them things look indecent on any male over the age of 13. My legs haven’t seen the light of day for over 60 years I’m proud to say and then they were only seen by you when you pulled me feet first out of that dyke after I lost control of your father’s Matchless.

The road’s been in upheaval as Minnie’s daughter in law has been down all week with her young uns. If they aren’t stroking the cat the wrong way they’re being sick from too many of Minnie’s sausage rolls and if they aren’t drinking vinegar they’re taking it in turns to get the swing ball wrapped around their necks. Maureen made me come in in the end, she could see I was enjoying myself too much. I told her, if you can’t get to my age and laugh at hurt kiddies we may as well have capitulated to the hun. Those swing ball bats leave a mark though Wal. Minnie’s youngest grandson still looks like a gingham tablecloth three days after being hit in the face by his brother. They’ve started coming round of an afternoon. They like standing in the shed breathing in the petrol and paint fumes. I’ve got them sorting coffee jars of screws and catching their fingers in bike chains. Minnie’s glad to have them out of her clematis for an hour or two. They’ll be round again soon, they keep Roger talking ’til the six o’clock news.

Regards to Joan
Lenny

2 Responses to “News from Norfolk: Swingball”

  1. What a riot. Swingball sounds something like tether ball where you bat at a ball tethered to a pole and try and get it wrapped all the way around on your side. Too fun. I spent many an afternoon playing tether ball and was injured many times! Ha! These are so funny!

    • That’s the one, for some reason I assumed it was known as SwingBall everywhere – but I like tether ball. Sounds like it needs to be constrained like a bludger. The bats are lethal. We were round at a friend’s, at the dinner table 3 or so years ago looking out the French windows at the kids playing swing ball. Conversation paused as we all saw my son swing madly at the ball, lose grip on the bat and launch it straight at the window! How embarrassing.

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