News from Norfolk: Went to Swaffham to do a day’s Throshing

October 27, 2013

2012-03-20 16.23.39

You’ll remember I was contemplating that constant companion men of our age have when I last wrote – Death Wal, not ulcerated legs and digital watches. Got me thinking what I’d like Maureen, Peter and David to do with me when I’ve gone. Obviously my first choice is being left leaning up against that old Christmas tree in Maureen’s front garden so they’ll be able to see me when they are at the table for Sunday dinner. Maureen reckons it won’t hold my weight though. I’d also like to leave something for the kiddies. I’ve got 3 Golden Virginia tins filled with silver, a Tupperware box of buttons and a Haynes manual for an Opel Ascona for someone. I leave them out when the young uns come round, doesn’t hurt for them to see what you can have at the end of your life if you work hard and chain smoke. To tell the truth Wal, I despair of the younger generation. I saw Mick last week with his boy Gary. He’s a bloody boy, at least 6’ 2 and a fag paper, chest wide enough to get stuck coming out of the outside privy and hands like leaf rakes. What does he do? Works for Norwich union! Pushing pens 9 – 5 when his grandfather worked at Partridges farm for 40 years breaking his back with the threshing machine, till he broke his back falling off the threshing machine. It’s like that Jan Leeming on the telly, she’s no business earning that money whilst there’s men in Gorleston jobless. There’s a phrase for it Wal, it’s the lavatory chain swung too far. It never happened before Shirley Williams and the SDP. I don’t want to worry you Wal, but I think the Davids and Shirley are back – Scotland this time, promoting Salmon fishing I think.
I’ve said too much. I’m off to smear that fromage frais on the front window so Roger can’t see in.


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